Tribulation
As occurs at some point in all lives, I experienced a tribulation. As sometimes happens, mine appeared bottomless as I failed to come to grips with the current state of society; in particular the state of religion in American society. I was quite frankly sick of choking on it.
During this time I was inspired by a preacher who advised that my choices were between
THE BAD,
&
THE UGLY,
or
THE PERFECT,
THE UPRIGHT,
&
THE BEAUTIFUL
He was pretending to be helpful; unfortunately, his view of a beautiful lord was an entity who fulfilled every wish of every man. In short, one could have whatever he demanded of God. He believed that God was love, and the trick was to build the throne elicited in Revelation, and slave its powers. He called this love.
Beast from the Abyss
My tribulation was further compounded when I discovered he was not the only group watching myself and others, and in an effort to compete with these other groups they had developed a sort of mind-control using the well known pathways of Babylon, astrology, and, to speak plainly-witchcraft! To be blunt, they were all seeking those with which to build that throne, attempting to make these individuals malleable with a constant bombardment of psychic energy. It is these groups who were responsible for the craziness, and the psychoses of the late 60s, and 70s!
Revelation contains a story about the lamb who was slain. He came from the midst of the throne, but was not part of it. He was to measure the temple, and open the book. He did not volunteer, he was compelled, and I can relate. I came to understand that I would not wish the enslavement by brotherly love on my worst enemy. It is an exhausting, pointless, fickle, temporary, thankless, and psychotic position in which to find oneself.
My Revelations
Like many before me I was lead to study the Bible in an effort to understand-at the very least, the language of these beasts from the abyss. In the cryptic language used there I was to discover that I understood what was being said. I came to understand that Jesus was but a bit player in this saga, and was himself oftentimes referred to as instructing in the 'secrets'-especially to his cousin Lazarus. My belief is that neither Jesus nor Lazarus died, but experienced what revelation calls 'second death'. My pursuit has been to find the second resurrection referenced therein, as well as to garner control over the frame of my current mental health.
Dichotomy
Few will argue with me that life always has at least two approaches. In Christianity you can subscribe to the homogenizing influences of brotherly love and the beast that encompasses the whole world, or you can subscribe to a philosophy of mental health and spiritual integrity to seek a personal throne. One never entirely escapes the clutches of 'societal' spiritual manipulation, and I really can relate to the view: "I would rather reign in hell than serve in heaven". Both viewpoints are called ontology, and if that makes me 'antichrist', so be it. I take much comfort in the fact that I at least try to avoid being a social or spiritual parasite by resisting those who would be the leech upon my soul. This attempt at self control benefits the forces of Babylon for a time, but it eventually shuts them out by the built in catch 22 i.e. 'Those who would rule are themselves ruled'! Personal self control and spiritual integrity eventually evolves into a freedom of balance; in the vernacular of revelation-the title of 'saint'.